1. |
SUNY
01:47
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2. |
Ghosting
04:01
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dead men tell no tales
reason enough to stay alive
i was learning how to play guitar
while you were learning how to drive
they say the drowning man
is not troubled by the rain
so put yr hands around my neck, baby
i don't need to breathe
it's not up to me
i wanna burn the sick off
grow a whole new skin
darling i apologize
for the state yr in
i wanna sit in silence
till my body turns blue
and i'm gonna hate myself baby
cuz yr not going to
it's not up to me
i'm ghosting now
i don't know what to do
so please forget yr rules
and let me go with you
i am a man passing through
it's not up to me
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3. |
Name Song/Drown
03:00
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to ana who spoke to me
when i was in trouble
to mary who followed me
when i needed a double
to violet who asked me why
the choices i made made her cry
to may who watches me
meeting me yearly
now i check the time
whenever i get the chance
no, i don't wanna die
i'm afraid that i've missed my chance
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4. |
Death Rattle
03:56
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the world ends slowly by a bench in the park
my hate, it passes quickly when i look to the dark
i hear the running water and i see yr ghost
looking for the answers in the songs that you wrote
i've seen lights while looking up at the sky
i've heard the death rattle of naïve times
i've seen the devil kill a girl with his eyes
his voice, like a pendulum
handsome and sly
* * *
one night stands and giant hands
gray lace and soliloquies
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5. |
Winter (Interlude)
02:08
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there was this one winter two years ago where it snowed so much that it formed 3 foot mountains up and down the inclined streets of our town, and the sidewalks became icy rivers in between wide snowbanks blocking the doors of local businesses and stretching out into the street. it was impossible to walk anywhere, so we did. in skate shoes we trekked through the neighborhood, cold and exhausted, but set on the goal of returning to my friend’s house across town, deep within the confines of the community for the wealthy; a section cut off from the rest of us by dense forest. the city upon a hill that this subsection was, the hike was long and arduous without the obstacle of the ever-growing crags of snow. i remember walking up the hill with our party of four, my two friends and my girlfriend at the time. we would, every so often, abandon the water-logged sidewalks for the presumably solid and safe looking snow banks, only to find, minutes later, ourselves trapped by frosty hands pulling us down from below. sleet fell onto our hat-less heads as we fought upward, screaming at each other words of attempted encouragement, eventually kicking our way out and falling back to the burning salt marsh of the sidewalk. we vowed never to be tempted with the soft white ice to our lefts or rights again. however, when the chemical burn of sodium chloride set into our snow-soaked canvas, the wide white traps seemed like a godsend, and our cycle repeated up the hill. eventually, the trap-banks separated our party in two, my girlfriend and best friend finding their way up the hill-turned-mountain together. my other friend and I were significantly further behind, and I watched, eyes obscured by sleet, two figures speak and laugh and bump each other, the way that lovers do. i spoke to my climbing partner about it, and he said there was nothing to worry about. they reached the top of the mountain and disappeared from sight. when we finally got to my friend’s house, having made the journey through the labyrinthine roads of his community of wealthy isolation, i took off my jacket and my salt-soaked shoes, and hearing the other three laughing in triumph, laid on the bathroom floor to thaw.
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6. |
Burn Everything
03:41
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yr angels are all burning in the sky
i swear to god that i'll outlast them all
the sun stays up all the time it seems these days
yr boyfriend called
he says he wants to save you
the sun stays up all the time these days
all my friends don't care
yeah all my friends
they're all the same
you ain't foolin' nobody
and you ain't foolin' me
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7. |
Homecoming
04:11
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you walk with yr man through the halls of the school
you talk about love as you go room to room
i can't really see cuz of the lights in my eyes
but i'm fairly certain that my brother just died
dehydrated and lost
i will wait you out whatever the cost
and i'll always be around
wasting my hours
thinking of hours with you
but i'll remember them poorly
and if i could drive you home
you could lay yr head in my lap
and i could take us out into the night
i can feel the memories swell
though they act like dreams in my mind
i don't think i was actually there
but i don't mind
yr vengeance comes down with every letter in yr name
and the anger that's saved is what those letters dictate
i saw it from the half light, it still makes me shake
and i can't sleep at night, no i can't sleep at night
see me, don't see
sanctify me
violence, coming
up/down again
i know we die
i know i'll die
and i can't sleep at night
no i can't sleep at night
and if i could drive you home
you could lay yr head in my lap
and i could take us out into the night
i can feel the memories swell
though they act like dreams in my mind
i don't think i was actually there
but i don't mind
***
maybe maybe maybe if i
put water in the vase
the flowers will come back to life
maybe maybe maybe if i put water in the vase
i can turn back time
i can make things right
and if i could drive you home
you could lay yr head in my lap
and i could take us out into the night
i can feel the memories swell
though they act like dreams in my mind
i don't think i was actually there
but i don't mind
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8. |
Temptation
06:35
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lock yrself inside yr room
wait for the thought to pass
talk to yr sister about it
i'm sure she'd understand
i breathed in + smelled yr smoke
yr burning alive for him
everything he says and does will drive it deeper in you
i know you wanna make it right, you gotta try to fight more than yrself at night
when yr sleeping
i know you wanna make it right, you gotta try to fight more than yrself at night
when yr tempted
lock yrself inside yr room
yr heart pressed up against glass
the violence of yr tragic tones
make cracks along yr past
i breathed in + smelled yr smoke
yr burning alive for him
everything you ever do might just come down to this
i know you wanna make it right, you gotta try to fight more than yrself at night
when yr sleeping
i know you wanna make it right, you gotta try to fight more than yrself at night
when yr tempted
you gotta drive into the open night
first i thought that you were strange,
then i began to like you
then i came to realize
that i was nothing like you
drive into the open night
you gave me a key after i killed my girlfriend
though i sought higher ground
i could not see the incoming end
drive into the open night
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9. |
Hard to Find
03:40
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when i go to school, i will see many, but none will be you
that's fine
your alien race is everywhere on earth if you know where to look
libraries, park benches, moving in cars
kissing your boyfriend alone in the dark
when i go downtown, i will see many, but none will be you
that's fine
your alien race has nowhere to hide
flying in airplanes, counting the stars
you're sitting backstage, now you're counting his scars
sleeping in airplanes, crying in cars
you're sitting backstage, now i'm counting my scars
1 2 3 4 5 6
among us humans, you ain't that hard to find
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10. |
緣分
03:44
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come with me
come into my bed
we can sleep like unborn children under the covers
we can watch the light creep in through the window
and we will never touch each other
because i love you too much for that
the way that you think is normal
for someone your age
despite what you've been through
i shake uncontrollably when you speak
when you speak
speak about anything at all
so i'm going and i'll never come back
but you'll go before me so
my absence will be meaningless
will be meaningless
anyway
is there a bottom to this?
i'd like to hit the bottom before i come back up for air
could you hold me down
and tell me about your options and your lovers
and the thing that you want most?
i'll listen till i die inside
and i'll sleep alone that night
or i won't sleep at all
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Monster Bad Manhattan, New York
sara, maya, and chris
~
have fun w/ it
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